1. Bring a tent
…and all of its component parts. This may seem obvious, but don’t leave it to
chance or you may end up with something like this:
2. Remember where you put your tent
…or make it clearly identifiable. While some tents may have individual names
and personalities, many look very similar and by making sure you know yours
well enough before you climb into it, you avoid the awkwardness of climbing into
the wrong tent and being chased out by an angry man with (for some reason) a
stick (seriously, why would you bring a stick into your tent man?).
3. Don’t gaffer tape things to your body
I know security searches are intimidating, but resorting to hiding things on your
body isn’t going to yield the most comfortable results under the circumstance
when your car breaks down and you have to push it with the help of a kind
policeman whilst simultaneously trying to conceal the hip flask taped to your
inner thigh and dealing with the pain of the tape yanking at your leg hair.
4. Patrón XO is a bad choice
If you’re bringing your own alcohol (which officially we can’t encourage, but it
happens, so…) then Patrón XO smuggled in a metal drink bottle isn’t the way to
go. That shit doesn’t stand up well to heat and taking shots from the bottle will
result in spew, lots of spew (pro tip: don’t do this minutes before going on stage
for a performance…)
5. Do your own thing
There are no rules (except don’t be a dick to other people) so do what you want
and make your own festival experience. Here’s probably the only really good
point of this piece: see some bands. See the bands you want to see, and some
others because you never know what might be a surprise highlight. Don’t let
other people decide what bands you see, if there’s an act you want to see but
your friends don’t then just go. You’ll find your friends again, or make new ones
that like the same music as you – it’s a festival, there’s no short supply of friends.
It’s basically fifteen thousand people all paying to hang out with you for a few
nights in a field, so don’t get stuck being bored at your campsite while your
friends eat goulburn valley fruit snacks and clean up the creamy pasta they
spilled all through their eski, go off and enjoy the music and help make the party.